This is probably not the best post, but when are my posts really awesome? Anyways, if you don't like what I have to say, get the hell out.
I'm in a sea of people yet I feel alone. This has to be the bipolar talking, it just has to be. 2-3 weeks ago i felt great, I was happy, I was planning my wedding. But now I try to find reasons to just get out of the house. I'm such a sad person, a lonely person. I'm going to get to the end of my life and have nothing to show, but then again, who says we have to have something to show at the end of our lives?
People want to be your friend, but is that what they really want? Aristotle said we were lucky if we only had one or two good friends in life. I feel this is true.
I have so many mixed emotions right now, I'm so compliant. Fuck. I want to feel something, I'm tired of being apathetic. Towards my life and the people in it.
The past week I've drank every night, mostly alone. I really don't want to slip back into my old habits, but the alcohol makes life easy.
Sometimes I don't think the people in my life realize how sensitive I am.
Jewel is my go to when I'm sad.
It just makes me want to make you near me always
And when you look in my eyes
please know my heart is in your hands
It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms
you have complete power over me
So be gentle if you please, 'cause
Your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth
And it makes me want to make you near me always
