"I cant take my mind off of you"

Do you ever listen to a song, and just feel the lyrics, like you're flowing with them, you're emotions, thoughts, everything you have in you? That's how I feel listening to The Blowers Daughter by Damien Rice.

Speaking of music, iTunes is on shuffle, currently it's If I were a boy, which really isnt such a bad message. However the style isn't really my thing. To each his own. The lyrics are pretty empowering for women though.

Sharing Time: I opened up to my friends at the sleepover last night, gave them some insight to my thought process, and low self-esteem issues. One of my friends told me that I need to stand in front of the mirror every day, and say something I like about myself. I believe she said pick out a different thing each week. This week, it's my eyes. They're blue, like the sky...and the ocean. That makes me smile. 

Back to the party, we had TONS of food left over. I've called all of the people I know telling them I have amazing free food...and on one's interested. Makes me sad, I hate wasting food when there are people around the world, and in my own country who are starving. I really believe it's great that our country helps out other countries less fortunate than us, but we have our own people here in the United States who need our help as well. Children in the streets, starving, girls having to sell their bodies for a warm place to sleep at night. It's not right. 

"They say abortion will send you straight to a fiery hell
That is if the fanatics don't beat satin to the kill
It's not what I can do for anybody
It's what there body can do for me

Well I wanna see, I wanna see
What can you do for me?

They say that Jesus loves you
What about me"

What do you think about people who date/marry others who are several decades older then they are? I'm curious. 

"The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many things: Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax-- Of cabbages-- and kings-- And why the sea is boiling hot-- And whether pigs have wings.."

-Trisha

Shine

boyfriend went out of town tonight for a disc-golf tournament tomorrow. I decided to have a sleep over at our place, so that I wouldn't have to stay here alone. It's really been fun. Did some yoga for about an hour or so...most the the night we sat around talking...and just letting out our frustrations of life. Much needed.

Sunday, my friend Demetria and I are going to the gym, then probably coming back here to do some yoga. Yoga makes my world go round. ^_^

I have a blister on the tip of my tongue...and my upper lip is chapped. sad face for sure.

Tonight it's me, Jim and Tippie sleeping in my queen size bed. :) Love that. Though, I miss the warmth of my other half next to me...tomorrow. :) unless he gets snowed in someplace..that would be bad.

Im cold. I want spring. Warm weather.

Bedtime.

Goodnight all.

~T

 

vegetable soup

I thought I would give live journal a try, I hate it. That's okay, I'm content with my blog here. :) So far today I managed to sleep until noon, missed my {two} classes, and made some vegetable soup. Currently my heart is feeling a bit down, I'm trying to exercise daily, and stay on a low calorie diet. It's difficult, considering dieting has never been one of my fortés in life. I'm a work in progress. I try to think of it as a lifestyle change, rather then a "diet". The word "diet" doesn't sound friendly.

Lately I've had a difficult time falling asleep and staying asleep. One of my doctors recommended a herbal drug, Melatonin, it helped in the beginning, but now I'm back to where I started. Every night, I fluff my pillow, and lay on my stomach. I then have a second pillow that I bunch up and it sticks under my left breast, with my left arm wrapped around it. My right arm is laying diagonal above my head, if that makes sense. This is the only way I sleep comfortably, well, when I sleep. Maybe it's my bed, I just bought this mattress back in the summer, it's fairly new, maybe we need a mattress pad. Hmm...where could I find a really comfy one..?

Anyways, suppose I should be going. Lots of stuff that I need to read and study. Test on Friday in a science class (science and math and defiantly not my fortés either).

Until then.

~T

Anger

Do you ever find yourself wanting to be angry with others? People who have wronged you? I do. I feel like the world owes me something, that the people who wronged me, owe me something, all the while, I drag my thoughts and feelings of them through the mud beneath my feet. When I think about people who have wronged me, hurt me, or just traded me as a stock on the market, I feel rage, anger, hate, depressed, sad, lonely, hurt, and confused. I myself think I'm a wonderful person, but then I think, "In no way am I close to perfect", in no way have I been truly enlightened. Through all of my negative feelings, I still have these thoughts of compassion, how I need to let things go, and how "In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher." His Holiness the Dalai lama. This quote rings true to my heart, I need to be tolerant of others feelings, thoughts, and actions. I don't know their past, what they've been through, people who have wronged or hurt them. Likewise, they no nothing of my pains, in this understanding, I feel a peace, through all of my negative emotions, a peace comes over me, consuming my radiation of darkness, and replacing it with love, compassion, and understanding. This has really been a pressing issue with me lately, not knowing or really understanding why things have been the way they have for my entire life. Childhood, adolescent, and my young adulthood. But through everything that has happened to me, though I do not understand, I love those, who have hurt me, and I accept them as they are, just as I accept myself, just as I am. Sure there are things we all need to work on, work towards becoming enlightened, but before you can do that, you must first love yourself, and love others. The golden rule, to treat others as you wish to be treated. I for one, intend to make this my goal in life, to treat others, as I want to be treated.

Just some food for thought. 

with love,

~T

 

Meditation

One of my favorite quotes is from His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, he says, "True compassion is universal in scope. It is accompanied by a feeling of responsibility."   Meditate on this.

~T

Lama Surya Das

I love Diversity. It's really hard for me to understand "hating" someone because they're unlike you.  My eyes have been opened, I've been taught that there is a whole world full of differences, and that we are all interconnected. I've been reading a book lately, written by Lama Surya Das (in the video above), Awakening the Buddhist Heart, it talks a lot about interconnectedness, karma, loving yourself just as you are, and loving others just as they are. Currently I'm in the third chapter, but already I can sense a change in my though patterns, behaviors, and feelings. I encourage everyone to read this wonderful work of love.

Until then,
~T