The past several years have been trying for me. I suppose that only makes me stronger, but losing someone, even someone that you didn't see all that often but loved is a difficult thing to cope with. I want to understand the meaning of life. the meaning of death, and what is to come. I guess that's why I am a philosopher, constantly reading, constantly thinking...hoping for the best, but coming up with answers a lot of people don't want to hear. In retrospect I've accepted this, I understand that people aren't always going to like my propositions, my opinions. I feel more and more that I am slipping into skepticism, but again, I'm okay with this...is this wrong?
Another thing, IF you, me, or anyone else is a "true believer", (lets define true believer, as someone of the Christian faith who believes that Jesus is the one and only savior of the world), and say this "true believer" really thought they were what they claimed to be, but in the back of their mind, have a back up plan, "well, if the world ends, and I'm wrong about my faith, that's okay"....is this person still a "true believer"? This question has really bothered me. I suppose because of my feelings towards god, in my mind and heart, I believe myself to be a christian, however I still think other ways are possible, I don't feel comfortable saying, "hey, you're not a christian, so...sucks to be you". Is this wrong? Does this make me not a christian? or even a skeptic?
Lately I've been telling those people that I care about the most that I love them. Something I usually reserve for my parents, fiance, sister, and grandparents. But with so much death and loss, I want people "leaving" knowing that I love them, and that I care. I really feel that it is important.
I hope to have more answers someday...for now I guess I'm left with my thoughts...and yours.
-Trisha
